I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
