The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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