I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
