I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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