Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
