Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
