don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
