You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
