Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
should my penis look like a turkey
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
