Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize