dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
