i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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