he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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