i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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