so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
