somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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