Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
