clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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