wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
