so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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