Banned from zoo.
Again?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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