I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.