the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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