The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
is that a dick in a sweater?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one