I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.