dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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