I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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