heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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