just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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