I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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