i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
