ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
