I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
