There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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