just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.