Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night