she was so not down for the gang bang
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
