His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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