watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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