But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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