Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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