just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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