my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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