it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
