His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
