Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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