It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
