so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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