it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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