My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
