hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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