Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.