Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.