You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
