Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
