I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
