She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
