There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize