if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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