I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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