Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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