Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
