told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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