I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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