It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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