I don't think brook has ever known best
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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